I hate prompts like this, so I’m going to keep it brief.

I’m too fat to be healthy, and I’m too fat to be comfortable in cheap theatre seats. I need to lose weight for both aesthetic and health reasons.

I know that I’m supposed to hate my body because of this. All those glossy magazines tell me so. But you know what? I’ve got amazing tits. My legs go on for days. I’m really flexible. I’m physically strong. My eyes are expressive. My hair is like silk.

If anybody wishes to judge my body harshly, they can kiss my flat, cellulite-ridden backside. If I could reach it, I would.