All posts by Louise Taylor

Journal prompt: my last kiss

It was a goodbye kiss, although you probably thought it was a goodbye for now kiss, that there would be more in the future.

I knew differently.

This was a kiss goodbye to your inattention, your lies and your lack of care about my feelings. It was a kiss goodbye to waiting anxiously for you to text me, to remember that I existed. It was a kiss goodbye to the only person who wants and desires me, true, but it was also a kiss goodbye to the pain that your leaving causes me every time you walk out the door.

I wonder how long it will take you to realise it?

I knew it was coming from the first.

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Journal prompt: a letter to the author of your favourite book

Dear Sir Terry,

I have so much to thank you for, which I’m sure would have embarrassed you if I’d ever told you so when you were alive. You seemed very humble and self-deprecating in your interviews, but it’s a real regret of mine that I never wrote that fan letter to tell you so.

I started reading your books because of my father, who had found you first and thought I’d appreciate your humour. I started with Witches Abroad, which introduced me to my personal heroine, Granny Weatherwax. I devoured every volume that my local library had of yours, and then started to buy them for myself when I kept wanting to re-read them. You can see from my bookshelves when I started earning a better Saturday job wage, as I started buying hardbacks instead of paperbacks!  The witch novels have always been my favourites, followed by the novels centred around the Ankh Morpork City Watch and the wizards of the Unseen University.

I think the reason why I love your books is because you wrote about people that I knew. Oh, they might be witches or wizards or Ephebian philosophers in their barrels, but I knew them. I recognised them as my family, my teachers, my friends and myself. You made your characters so human and realistic, even the ones that are orangutans and Wonder Dogs. You made me look critically at how I thought – you taught me about Second Thoughts and the secret of boffo, ideas that still guide my judgments and actions today. You made me laugh with your outrageous puns and sly references to the real world.

You exposed hypocrisy in governments and institutions but you were never cruel to the undeserving. You respected the Sam Vimeses of the world, who battle against their demons every day, and the Granny Weatherwaxes, who do the job that is in front of them, no matter what the personal cost. You were on the side of the little guy, when few often are.

When I needed a good laugh, I could rely on you. When I needed a place to retreat to from the harshness of the world, I could rely on you. You were more than my favourite author. You were a teacher, a guide and a friend. You didn’t ask to be, and I’m not sure you wanted to be, but you were, all the same. I don’t think I could have got through my teen years without my copy of Lords and Ladies. At a time when I was suffering from the stress of parental expectation and my own highly critical inner voice, Granny was going through the same thing. The price of being the best is having to be the best, every day, with all the expectations that went with it.  I got that. It spoke to me. It still does. Granny survived that pressure, so I did. You were the first person to be able to give words to the feelings that I had banging around my brain and I am so intensely grateful for that gift.

I met you once, although I didn’t get the chance to tell you all this. I’m not sure that I could have put it into words then. You were kind, and smiled and chatted as you signed my copy of Hogfather, the latest release. I heard you give advice to some amateur actresses who were putting on a Discworld play, and I’ve practically memorised what you said to them. I can’t remember what we talked about. Shock at actually meeting my hero, I suppose.

You’re gone now, and the fact that I’m crying as I’m typing this only goes to show that you mean so much more to me than I can explain. You went far too soon and I’m bloody angry about the books that we’ll never get to read and the jokes we’ll never laugh at. My loss is nothing compared to that of your family, of course, but you are mourned and missed by millions. You should know that. You should know how much you were loved. Everyone should know how much they are loved.

Thank you for everything you’ve given me, and keep giving me. Your books are a constant source of joy for me.You’ll always have a special place in my heart, and on my bedside table.

 

All my love and grateful thanks,

 

Louise

xxx

 

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Journal prompts: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Dead.

It would look dead.

Look, I’ve got no problem with people who want to go around with flowers in their hair. It’s whimsical and feminine and a bit hippy-dippy, but it’s harmless. Plus, it easily identifies whimsical hippy-dippy types with unerring accuracy, so you can avoid them with ease and professionalism.

I’m not particularly whimsical or hippy-dippyish, so you won’t find me wearing a flower crown any time soon, but even if I were, I’d still have to avoid them. I suffer from hay fever quite badly, so the idea of waltzing around the place with pollen drifting down from just above my eyebrows is my idea of summer hell, to be honest!

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Journal prompt: are you fussy about your book and music organisation?

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I like to listen to music, but these days all my music has been imported into iTunes, so my actual CDs are in a few dusty cases under the desk in the office room. I tend to buy my music digitally these days, so all organisation is done by the computer. Not that I listen very much nowadays, come to think about it; I can’t listen to music with lyrics when I write as I get distracted, so I either don’t bother, or listen to classical music on Spotify. I listen to podcasts when I’m doing the washing up or cleaning the house, as I find that more interesting than just music.

My books though – they are organised to within an inch of their lives. Firstly, they’re organised by genre. Detective fiction in the front of the living room, science fiction and fantasy in the back, next to the bookshelves with classics in the canon of English Literature on one side and historical non-fiction and biographies on the other. On the bookshelves next to the bathroom are my non fiction reference books, with a few collections of cartoons in the bathroom itself for some light toilet reading. Upstairs in the office room are my bookshelves with professional books for my day job, my collection of children’s books and a bookshelf of romantic fiction. Inside each bookshelf, the genre is organised alphabetically by author, and then by publication date if the author has more than one book in my collection.

Obsessive? Perhaps. But I can always find any book I’m looking for in my house!

 

Journal prompt: have you ever watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Heathers? Beetlejuice? Pulp Fiction?

 

heathers

Yes, of course, I think so and no.

I never got the whole Rocky Horror thing. My friends got into it, back in Sixth Form, and maybe its because I never saw it live. I saw the film version and…well, underwhelmed is the best way to put it, really. Some of the songs are catchy, but if there’s a plot to the thing, I missed it. It’s a really a cult film, and you’re either in the cult or you’re not.

Heathers, though, that was I film I enjoyed. It’s so dark! No matter how bad my teen years were, they weren’t as bad as Veronica Sawyer’s. I think that teen me was more interested in a young Christian Slater than the deeper message of the film, but I couldn’t help but love the cutting dialogue and the daring darkness of the film. Not many teen movies show bullying, date rape and murder in what can arguably be called a comedy.

I think I saw Beetlejuice at one point, but I really don’t remember anything except his suit. Either the film made no impression on me whatsoever, or I only ever saw a clip of it. I’m not exactly running to change that, though.

Pulp Fiction is one film that I think that I should see, because I’ve seen so many parodies of if, but it’s a Tarentino film and I’ve never seen a Tarentino film I’ve liked. Too bloody, too much violence. I think I’ll pass.

Journal prompts: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

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It’s not so much that I like  to keep my bedroom messy, it’s just that I’m a tired, lazy slob who only tidies it once a week. I keep my living room and kitchen looking tidy because those are the rooms that visitors see, but unless I’m having an overnight guest, my bedroom is usually a tip!

I do have a clothes hamper, but I also have dreams of achieving the netballing success so cruelly denied me in my youth. There was a reason I was always put in defensive positions, and it’s not just my height! So, although clothes get thrown in the general direction of the hamper, they don’t always land in there. Not on the first throw. Or the second.

I don’t have an official bin in the bedroom, for reasons I really don’t understand. Instead I have a large plastic bag that I put the usual detritus in – empty water bottles, chocolate bar wrappers, used cotton buds, that sort of thing. When it gets full, I ignore it for a while and continue to stuff crap into it until it’s impossible to close before I take it downstairs and put it in the kitchen bin.

My wardrobe needs replacing, as it’s both too small and has a broken door. My chest of drawers is old and scarred. The mirror is propped precariously against the wall, rather than hanging from it. The only tidy thing in there is the bed, which usually has a cat sleeping aggressively in the middle of it.

On a Friday, though, I blitz it, dusting and sweeping everywhere. Clothes are taken to the washing machine, bedside tables are tidied and half-empty water glasses are washed. Everything smells of Pledge. It’s beautiful.

Then the cat gets back on the bed again, and the whole cycle begins again!

Journal prompts: do you like stationery?

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Do I like stationery? No.

I love it!

Journals, folders, washi tape, fineliners, marker pens, colouring pencils, stamps, post-its, sticky labels, diaries – I buy them all the time, more often than I should, just because I can’t bear to leave them behind in the shop! Some of them are so nice, I can’t bear to use them!

I just bought a brand new journal for my bullet journaling, just because it has dotted pages like the cool kids on Instagram have. I wasn’t going to buy any washi tape, and now I have thirty rolls on order from Hong Kong. I spent twenty pounds on new pens last week because I walked past a stationer’s and couldn’t resist a buy two get one free offer.

I have notebooks and lever arch files, dividers and cardboard wallets stacked all over the house. I have no self control at the best of times, but sales and paydays, especially in combination, are lethal.

Today my penguin washi tape arrived, and it was glorious!

Journal prompts: what are the shoes you’ve had forever and wear with everything?

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I know – boring, right? Plain black dolly shoes, no heel and no bow on my pair. Just unadorned black leather.

The thing is, I wear a lot of black. It’s slimming, it hides the fact that I drop whiteboard markers down myself on a regular basis and it means I don’t have to think about matching clothes first thing in the morning. Black shoes just complete the ensemble.

I also have really stupidly wide feet, and dolly shoes often come a bit wider than average court shoes. I’m quite tall for a woman – 5’10” – so I don’t feel the need for heels very often. They’re easy to kick off when my feet get too hot. They go with most outfits.

Most importantly, when I finally wear a pair into the ground, they’re easy to replace! You can get them everywhere and they’re not expensive. It also means I can keep a spare pair in my desk drawer in case of some kind of shoe-related clothing malfunction, which has been known to happen!

So, in short, the humble black dolly shoe. The Louise Taylor shoe of choice!

Journal prompts: what is your opinion of socks? really, just talk about socks.

penguin socks

I hate socks.

Yes, shocking as it is, I’m not fond. It comes from having big feet, I think; ladies’ socks go from size 4-7, and I’m an 8. Most socks are just that little bit tight, or slip uncomfortably underneath the heel. Men’s socks usually have better designs and aren’t bloody pink, but they’re too big and slouch down. If it wasn’t for the fact that I have to wear socks to stop myself getting blisters, I wouldn’t bother.

That being said, if I could get my hands on a long pair of penguin socks like the ones above, I’d wear them all the time!

This is it. I think I’ve found The One.

He’s everything I ever dreamed of.

He’s perfect for me.

He’s long and thick and just the right size. And did I tell you how firm he is? I positively melt into bliss whenever we’re together!

I can’t wait to spend the night with him tonight, and for every night in the future.

Oh Hokkasen, why did it take me so long to find you?

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He was hiding in Ikea the whole time!

That’s right, I’ve treated myself to a brand new mattress! My poor back just can’t take the combination of broken slats/cheap memory foam mattress any more, so I splashed out on Hokkasen, who I am going to pretend is my new Scandinavian lover. It’s being delivered today and I don’t think I’ve looked forward to anything in such a long time!