This is it. I think I’ve found The One.

He’s everything I ever dreamed of.

He’s perfect for me.

He’s long and thick and just the right size. And did I tell you how firm he is? I positively melt into bliss whenever we’re together!

I can’t wait to spend the night with him tonight, and for every night in the future.

Oh Hokkasen, why did it take me so long to find you?

mattress]

He was hiding in Ikea the whole time!

That’s right, I’ve treated myself to a brand new mattress! My poor back just can’t take the combination of broken slats/cheap memory foam mattress any more, so I splashed out on Hokkasen, who I am going to pretend is my new Scandinavian lover. It’s being delivered today and I don’t think I’ve looked forward to anything in such a long time!

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