All posts by Louise Taylor

Journal prompts: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

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Oh lord, it would be a mess!

Not dirty, I hasten to add. Not any dirtier than a flat that would be that would have both cats and a dog in it. Two dogs; I would love to have a dog but I live alone and work full time outside the home, so it wouldn’t be fair to have one right now. If I lived with my best friend and her menagerie of animals, I’m sure it would be okay if I had a dog too.

It would either have to be a very big flat or a very small dog!

There would have to be wooden floors, all the easier to sweep up the animal hair from, and lots of tall bookcases to house our collection of books. We would have thousands between us! My friend is great with colour, more brave than I am, so there would probably be really bold choices for wallpaper and paint. My pride and joy, my Empire Red KitchenAid food mixer, would have pride of place in the kitchen. She loves her amazing shoe collection, so there would have to be room for that. My handbags could take up a flat on their own. I have a giant marshmallow of a sofa, slightly battered and scratched, but oh so comfortable.

Actually, it sounds pretty great!

 

Journal prompts: what’s your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

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This is a really easy one! I’d lounge in bed until I had to get up, then I’d give myself a face mask before taking a really long shower. After drying off and getting into new, clean pyjamas, I’d make my way to the couch with a good book and remain there all day, napping here and there as I felt fit.

In short, I’d do absolutely nothing, and enjoy every moment of it!

Journal prompt: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

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This was a trickier post to write than I thought it would be! I’m a picky eater – very picky, to be honest. I’m fussy about textures, I hate it when sauces are poured over my food and most vegetables make me want to throw up. There are plenty of different foods that should be banned from the universe!

Cucumber, though – cucumber is just the worst! For a start, it’s barely a thing. It’s an oddly-textured mass of water, flavoured with green. Yes, that’s right, it tastes green to me. It’s not as strong a green flavour as cabbage, or green beans, but it still tastes green. Blech.

It finds its way into salads and sandwiches, poisoning perfectly good food with it’s peculiar aftertaste. There’s no point in eating it – it has no value, no significant vitamins or minerals in it.

It is, in short, the devil’s own vegetable and if I could ban it from the universe, I would!

Journal prompts: what’s something that made you smile today?

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I went out for dinner with my friend, and she told me something that made me genuinely laugh tonight. She told me that her husband, an intelligent man, once admitted to her that he had never cleaned their bathroom. There was no need to, he said proudly, as they had designed the layout so well that the bathroom was self-cleaning. It was always so spotlessly clean! So shiny and fresh!

My friend, with a great deal more self control that I would have been able to maintain, had to tell her husband that no, in fact, their bathroom was not of the magical, self-cleaning variety, and for the last few years since its installation, she had been responsible for cleaning it.

I don’t understand how such a normally intelligent man could be so naive! What did he think the bottles of bathroom cleaner were for? Did he think that the bathroom cleaning fairies visited in the middle of the night?

Genuine, hysterical laughter.

Journal prompts: do you sleep on your back, side or stomach?

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Yes.

To all of them.

I sleep alone, most of the time, and when I have a companion I prefer to do the actual sleeping part of the evening alone. For preference, I sleep in a starfish formation, trying to take up as much of the bed as possible. It’s when I start to assume the starfish that companions wish that they were sleeping somewhere else, too.

I start off on my side, on the right hand side of the bed. This is because in summer, this is the side closest to the fan. I have to be on the cold side of comfortable to drop off to sleep. Again, this annoys companions who have, in the past, complained about the Alaskan temperatures of my bedroom. When I get too hot, I flop onto my left side, where the cool pillows are. I usually fall asleep properly now, but at some point in the night I roll over and lay on my back, my arms and legs now spread out in full starfish mode.

I’m seriously thinking about upgrading to a kingsize bed. It would mean that I would have to buy a brand new bedframe, mattress, duvets and bed linens, but it would mean that any future night time companions would have a little more room when I bust out my best starfish impersonation and try to sleep in all of the bed at once!

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Journal prompts: what random objects so you use to bookmark your books?

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This is an odd question for me, although not for one of my very best friends. For the sake of protecting the flagrantly guilty, we’ll call her Beth. Beth is a rapacious reader. Her flat is lined with bookcases, often stacked precariously on top of each other. Books are packed onto them three-deep, covering every subject you can possibly imagine. I myself have bought her romance novels, books about surviving in the wild, an atlas of world history and a collection of maps designed by a teenage computer genius.

You can tell which books Beth is currently reading by the weird objects she uses to mark her pages. The silver paper that wraps chocolate biscuits, receipts, postcards, newspaper clippings and even, on occasion, an actual bookmark purchased for the purpose. You can track where she was when she was reading by what she’s used to mark her page. The one thing that she doesn’t do, thank goodness, is fold the corner of the page down.

Me?  I don’t use bookmarks.

Sometimes it’s because I’ll read the book entirely in one sitting so I don’t need one. Other times, I remember the page number. I don’t know why I don’t use bookmarks, I have plenty of them. Everybody knows that I like reading, so I usually get a few novelty bookmarks every year as part of Christmas and birthday gifts. At the moment they all sit crammed onto a bookshelf, unused and unloved. I just find it more natural to remember a page number.

Now that I read on my iPad a lot, I have no need of a physical bookmark as the Marvin app I use automatically keeps my place. Perhaps the next time I go to visit Beth, I’ll take my collection of book marks with me to give to her!

 

Journal prompts: are you a morning person?

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A cat after my own heart. 

*laughs hysterically*

*wheezes*

*snorts unattractively*

Ahem.

No.

I’m forced to be for my day job – my working day starts at 8.20, and I’m in the classroom by 8.00am prepping, so that means I leave my house by 7.45, which means I have to be showered, dressed and breakfasted before then. The very latest I can stay in bed is 6.45.

Some days I find myself standing in lesson one not quite sure how I got to work that morning. It’s not that I stay up ridiculously late, and I usually nap after getting home from work on most days. I just hate mornings!

My head is fuzzy, my knee aches badly, I’m bad tempered and always ravenously hungry. I look bad. I mean, really bad.

So no, not a morning person.

Journal prompts: cereal

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My one true love!

A bit of a random one, but this prompt jumped out at me!

When you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

This is not a small deal – I don’t have cereal often, so if I do, I want it perfect! For a start, none of this healthy rubbish. No All-Bran, or unsweetened Cornflakes or molar-snapping museli. I want something packed full of sugar. It doesn’t have to taste of chocolate, but it does have to be tooth-rottingly sweet. Crunchy Nut Cornflakes are good. I like Krave, despite the stupid spelling of the name. Cookie Crisp is my favourite, I think.

Then, once I have my favourite bowl – both wide and deep, for maximum amounts of cereal – I pour the cereal in, followed by the milk. This is important – the milk can come no further up than half way. Just under half way, actually. The milk has to be semi-skimmed. No skimmed milk – that’s just white water. I’ve never actually tasted full fat milk, to the best of my knowledge, but I suppose I should make some nod towards health!

Cereal is a real treat because I’m supposed to be on a diet. I can have cereal, but only the boring healthy ones, and only 30g of it. 30g! That’s nothing! I can’t get filled up for the day on that! Plus, I’m not a big milk drinker as I don’t drink tea or coffee, so more often than not if I buy a pint of milk, most of it is just wasted.

So, if I do get to have cereal, it’s go big or go home. But only in my favourite bowl, and only with the correct ratio of cereal to milk! Too much milk and the cereal gets too soggy. Too little, and it’s all too hard and crunchy. Tell you what, Goldilocks had nothing on me!

Journal prompts: five men I find attractive

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He looks handsome and suave, doesn’t he? Well put together? Sophisticated?

He is the biggest celebrity dork I’ve ever seen and I adore him for it.He’s a real sci-fi and fantasy fanboy and can’t quite seem to believe that people are letting him run around with phasers and swords.

He’s a massive Trek fan and is amazing as McCoy. Seriously, the best character in the reboot by a hundred miles, and the rest of them aren’t half bad either.

He got into the best physical shape of his life to play Judge Dredd, then wore a full leather suit and a helmet that blocked everything but his impressive jawline. Watch him talk about taking the bike for a spin and crashing it immediately.

Take a look at his filmography and you get the impression that if he got to use a sword he’d go for the role, resulting in a…varied film history, to say the least. His recount of how he was trolled by Simon Pegg on the set of the second Trek film was hysterical. He looks awful as a blond. I love him completely. He is my celebrity husband, not despite the dorkishness, but because of it.

 

A friend once accused me of being overly refined, and my attraction to big, burly men is my body trying to get the thug gene back into my family’s DNA. She’s not entirely wrong, I think, although I wouldn’t call any of the following men thugs. I’d call them bloody gorgeous! Jason Momoa, Joe Manganiello, Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth. It’s the arms, I think – I love a strong pair of arms! That and the height. I love a tall man!

Jason Momoa on Kimmel
©BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM Jason Momoa is seen on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ NON EXCLUSIVE June 18, 2014 Job: 140618R9 Los Angeles, CA http://www.bauergriffin.com

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Journal prompts: your opinion about your body and how comfortable you feel about it

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I hate prompts like this, so I’m going to keep it brief.

I’m too fat to be healthy, and I’m too fat to be comfortable in cheap theatre seats. I need to lose weight for both aesthetic and health reasons.

I know that I’m supposed to hate my body because of this. All those glossy magazines tell me so. But you know what? I’ve got amazing tits. My legs go on for days. I’m really flexible. I’m physically strong. My eyes are expressive. My hair is like silk.

If anybody wishes to judge my body harshly, they can kiss my flat, cellulite-ridden backside. If I could reach it, I would.