This was a trickier post to write than I thought it would be! I’m a picky eater – very picky, to be honest. I’m fussy about textures, I hate it when sauces are poured over my food and most vegetables make me want to throw up. There are plenty of different foods that should be banned from the universe!

Cucumber, though – cucumber is just the worst! For a start, it’s barely a thing. It’s an oddly-textured mass of water, flavoured with green. Yes, that’s right, it tastes green to me. It’s not as strong a green flavour as cabbage, or green beans, but it still tastes green. Blech.

It finds its way into salads and sandwiches, poisoning perfectly good food with it’s peculiar aftertaste. There’s no point in eating it – it has no value, no significant vitamins or minerals in it.

It is, in short, the devil’s own vegetable and if I could ban it from the universe, I would!