He’s everything I ever dreamed of.

He’s perfect for me.

He’s long and thick and just the right size. And did I tell you how firm he is? I positively melt into bliss whenever we’re together!

I can’t wait to spend the night with him tonight, and for every night in the future.

Oh Hokkasen, why did it take me so long to find you?

He was hiding in Ikea the whole time!

That’s right, I’ve treated myself to a brand new mattress! My poor back just can’t take the combination of broken slats/cheap memory foam mattress any more, so I splashed out on Hokkasen, who I am going to pretend is my new Scandinavian lover. It’s being delivered today and I don’t think I’ve looked forward to anything in such a long time!