It’s not so much that I like  to keep my bedroom messy, it’s just that I’m a tired, lazy slob who only tidies it once a week. I keep my living room and kitchen looking tidy because those are the rooms that visitors see, but unless I’m having an overnight guest, my bedroom is usually a tip!

I do have a clothes hamper, but I also have dreams of achieving the netballing success so cruelly denied me in my youth. There was a reason I was always put in defensive positions, and it’s not just my height! So, although clothes get thrown in the general direction of the hamper, they don’t always land in there. Not on the first throw. Or the second.

I don’t have an official bin in the bedroom, for reasons I really don’t understand. Instead I have a large plastic bag that I put the usual detritus in – empty water bottles, chocolate bar wrappers, used cotton buds, that sort of thing. When it gets full, I ignore it for a while and continue to stuff crap into it until it’s impossible to close before I take it downstairs and put it in the kitchen bin.

My wardrobe needs replacing, as it’s both too small and has a broken door. My chest of drawers is old and scarred. The mirror is propped precariously against the wall, rather than hanging from it. The only tidy thing in there is the bed, which usually has a cat sleeping aggressively in the middle of it.

On a Friday, though, I blitz it, dusting and sweeping everywhere. Clothes are taken to the washing machine, bedside tables are tidied and half-empty water glasses are washed. Everything smells of Pledge. It’s beautiful.

Then the cat gets back on the bed again, and the whole cycle begins again!